


The Schrödinger’s invitation

by LonelyPirate



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Lark is done with her boss, Lark the Henchgirl, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Penguin and his henchgirl, Requited Crush, Riddlebird - Freeform, The Iceberg Lounge, The Penguin - Freeform, The Riddler - Freeform, The Rogues Gallery (Batman), evil men in love, no beta we die like jason todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyPirate/pseuds/LonelyPirate
Summary: It is Christmas Eve in the Gotham city and Penguin is expecting a guest for a dinner. Or maybe he isn't. It is really rahter hard to say and Lark is kinda tired with her boss.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Lark, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	The Schrödinger’s invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, happy holidays!  
> I've been writing fanfictions for a while but only in my native language this one is the first one I've written in english therefore I would like to apologize in advance for any possible errors.  
> This fanfic is written with no specific DC media in mind but probably mostly based on comicbook portrayal of the characters.  
> Any comments will be appreciated.

The sky is gray. So is the snow covering up the streets. The city is unusually silent almost peaceful. It is Christmas Eve in Gotham because not even a city as rotten with crime as this one is immune to such celebrations. And so all the vigilantes, villains, sidekicks and henchmen can at least for a one night rest and relax a bit.

Well at least most of them.

Lark is not one of them.

Indeed. It is Christmas Eve in Gotham and Lark is very nervous.

She is nowhere else than in Iceberg Lounge, the notoriously expensive and extravagant establishment she works in. The only job where girl can wear corsets and fishnets and yet call it classy. However she is in a bit more comfortable and bit less revealing clothes tonight since the club is closed. All she has to do before she is free for the evening is to make sure that all needs of her superior are met. Which might not sound like a lot of work but it is. Honestly in the comparison the evenings when in the center of her attention is marinating the Lounge and all of the insufferable, as dull as they are rich, customers are the peaceful ones…

It is snowing outside. She can see that quite clearly from the giant window in the office of her boss where she is currently standing. Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin, her boss is walking around the room back and forth then sitting and seconds later standing up again.

To say it simply he is very nervous.

Lark has worked for him quite a few years. In that time she unintentionally picked up the habit of mirroring his mood. Every employee who is working for Penguin long enough (even though there usually isn’t many) has to sooner or later pick up this habit. 

“I changed my mind,” Cobblepot proclaims for a fifth time this day (yes, she is counting that.) “Put the second set of plates away. It is a stupid idea. He won’t come anyway. And I don’t want to look desperate,” he waves his hand like that is his final decision. She keeps her mouth shut. It is probably better not to inform her boss that if he has no intention to look desperate it is already a bit too late. (That’s why she is one of the few lasting employees of his. She knows when to keep her mouth shut.)

“As you wish,” she steps closer to clean one side of his table which is today not covered in columns of papers but set for a Christmas dinner. Before she even touches anything he stops her with another wave of hand as he stands up once more with troubled expression.

“Maybe wait a little bit. Even though… What are the chances?”

“Well…” Lark starts wording her thoughts very carefully - the way every bad news should be served to Oswald Cobblepot. Honestly right now she feels like she would prefer to be informing him that someone stole his last gun shipment or that Batman blew up one of his less than legal businesses. She is luckily given more time to think about her words because her boss decides he hasn’t finished his monologue quite yet.

“And I know, I know I already asked you.” Yes he did. Sixth times precisely. (Yes, she was also counting that.) “But I know you might have only wanted to ease my worries. So this time I would really love to hear your honest opinion. Believe me you can talk openly I won’t hold it against you.” Lark was on funerals of few people to whom Penguin promised that _they can talk openly_. “I am well aware of who we are talking about. He can be sometimes annoying, proud, treacherous, untrustworthy, conceited, stubborn, probably slightly insane… I’m getting off the point again. Anyhow so do you think Edward will come?”

To put it mildly Lark is not very fond of Edward Nygma for one simple reason. (Okay, to be fair for various reasons but this one surpasses them all.) As was established earlier her moods depend on moods of her boss. All of the business the Iceberg Lounge everything under Penguin’s rule depends on his mood. And one of the main causes who could rise it up more quickly than successful deal and drag it down lower than visit of batman is one and only Edwad Nygma, the Riddler, the man her boss foolishly decided to have crush on.

(Of course Oswald Cobblepot would deny such a claim with his cheeks turning red in anger and embarrassment for such a daring suggestion. But anyone who has eyes can see what kind of admiring starry looks he is giving him any time he visits. Really anyone… probably except for Nygma himself. For someone who thinks himself to be so smart he can be for better or worse very blind to certain things.)

But there is still the question to be answered so Lark should really rather focus her attention on that.

“I mean if he promised…”

“But he did not! And that’s the problem… he doesn’t even know I am expecting him. Well, he might. But only maybe. Probably? I don’t know…” That is all new for Lark. She gives Cobblepot a confused look.

“I am sorry for asking, boss, but what do you mean by…?” she just waves her hand not sure to which part of his statement she should refer. Penguin goes a bit red. He blushes but he would deny it is a blush. He chews his bottom lip.

“Oh… you see… well…” he takes a breath and turns around so he doesn’t have to face her. He looks out of window.

“As you might have noticed I am spending every Christmas with Edward. Well, almost…” he adds when he remembers one particular year and, oh, she remembers that one really well too. Nygma had some ‘brilliant’ plan on Christmas day… or was it few days before them? Either way he was spending Holidays in Arkham, which meant Oswald was spending them alone, even though Riddler promised him ‘nothing will go wrong.’ So to put it simply… It was nightmare. Not so much for her, Cobblepot likes her, much more for all the other staff. He was really miserable through all of the holidays. That was probably the year she decided she was not only mildly annoyed by Nygma but that she really disliked him.

“I usually ask him about month or few weeks before.” Ah true now when he talks about it Lark still vividly remembers his crisis few years back over whether he should just casually mention it or put it in more official and written manner. “But this year, I wasn’t given the opportunity to do so…” he turns back to her chewing his lips again.

“We had a little fight in the August, remember? We weren’t on talking terms for a while. Then there was his grandiose plan which failed grandiosely and he got out of Arkham just three weeks ago. And in whole that time he didn’t bother to come around for a visit. Which is alright of course, you cannot have always time for your… friends,” by tone of Cobblepot’s voice it is very obvious that he does not consider this kind of manners ‘alright’ in any way but obviously is willing to let it slide because it is Edward Nygma they are talking about.

“Yes, Edward might be just busy with his… stuff. So I mean… We spent together so many Christmas it might just go without saying but… what if he doesn’t think so? What if he doesn’t think he is invited? Or what if he is still angry with me? Even though he was the one who started the argument…” Penguin slowly descends back on his chair, his face expression being something between frustrated and depressed. She knows better than to ask what their fight was about. Not because Penguin might get angry for her snooping or to get annoyed for being reminded about the disagreement… but because, and she is very certain of it, he doesn’t remember. Neither does Nygma. Both of them probably only have vivid memories that they were right. Stupid stubborn men.

“In that case it is possible… that maybe…. There is a chance that… he might think you still don’t want to see him?” she starts to very carefully laying the truth in front of him. There is never too soon to start preparing Cobblepot for the worst possible conclusion of his plans. The worst possible option she sadly saw quite likely to happen.

“As if me not wishing for his presence ever stop him,” he stands up again pushing the chair back that it almost falls over, “Don’t you remember two years back when I was hosting a party to… that’s not important! Important is that I invited quite a lot of major figures of Gotham city including people from GCPD and so I asked him not to come or cause any trouble. Do you think he listened to me? No, of course he showed up. He had even the audacity to claim he is there in disguise so it’s fine. Do you know what was his ‘disguise’? He wore dark green suit without questions marks instead of his bright green one! Oh and he also took glasses instead of domino mask. What a brilliant mask no one could see through! Well he did not get arrested surprisingly but that’s not a point… the point is that just because he has no regards for my personal wishes-…”

“Yes boss, but that’s hardly relevant to current situation…?” It was really rather silly move on Cobbelpot’s side there is no safer way to ensure Riddler will show up than specifically ask him not to.

“It is relevant in the point that he loves to do the thing which I expect the least or that will annoy me the most and… you know what? If he arrives today just tell him he is not welcomed, I made my mind!” Lark is about to very hesitantly start cleaning the second set of plates since it won’t take more than five minutes for her superior to change his mind _again_ but there is short knock on the door. They both turn their heads towards them just in time to see them open since whoever arrived apparently never learnt that one is supposed to wait to be invited in.

“Am I interrupting anything? Baaad timing? I can come later,” the man dressed more for a celebration of Saint’s Patrick’s day than Christmas enters the room. Despite the question he asked there are no concerns in his voice. Smug smile on his face is also suggesting that he doesn’t believe at all that he might be send away. He is of course right.

“Edward!” Penguin’s eyes open wide in surprise and it takes him embarrassingly long to compose himself and go from overly excited to only mildly pleased to finally ‘trying very hard not to look pleased at all and failing miserably’. “I don’t remember inviting you,” he attempts to put on adamant face expression like he is completely indifferent to the other man’s presence. Lark coughs and hopes that no one notices that she’s only desperately trying to hide chuckle.

“Your memory might at times not be the greatest, Mr Cobblepot, but for a fact you indeed did not invite me,” Riddler shortens the distance between them stopping only few feet’s in front of the table where he nonchalantly leans against the guest chair. His look wanders curiously all over the room drinking by sight all the details that changed from his last visit. But it doesn’t escape Lark’s attention than more often than not are his eyes drown towards the other man.

“Why are you here then?” Penguin accuses him for daring to arrive after the long afternoon he was anxiously expecting him.

“Could I not just drop by with a simple intention to wish my associate happy holidays?”

“No. You don’t usually do things randomly.”

“I suppose I do not. Unlike you. Because what a coincidence! You have enough tableware for two. It might not happen that by pure chance you will also have one more serving?” the blood raises back up to Penguin’s face.

“It… ah, I just…” Lark sighs silently. It would be so much easier if both of them could at least once drop their charade and stop playing their little game. But she knows it is rather unrealistic wish. So it is once again up to her to back her boss up since he looks like he forgot the lines of their unwritten script.

“Mr Cobblepot asked me if I don’t want to make him a company for tonight.”

“Is that so?” Riddler raises eyebrows, slightly amused.

“Yes, I did,” Penguin says as he’s giving her grateful look.

“In that case I should not interrupt you anymore…”

The gratitude in Cobblepot’s face quickly changes into panic. Lark has to try really hard to not roll her eyes. But she manages somehow and puts on apologetic smile. “As a matter of fact I was just about to apologize that there appeared some… urgent matter I have to attend and I will not be able to continue to make him company this evening.”

“Ah, yes, exactly as Lark said. I hope you will manage to solve all your… urgent matter!” For how great liar Oswald usually is today is really not his day. One would not have to be ‘the smartest man in whole Gotham’ to see through them. Henchgirl is determined to leave the scene before Riddler starts teasing him for it.

“So… if you happen not to have any other plans I suppose I might as well invite you to have a dinner with me.”

“Oh my, how incredibly generous of you, Mr Cobblepot. You happen to be lucky that indeed my plans for tonight are free therefore I do not see a reason why should I reject your invitation!” Nygma is still grinning but there is something soft in his eyes as he keeps watching Oswald. And exactly for the moments like this Lark could never describe her view on Edward Nygma as a pure hatred. Yes, she dislikes him but she could not hate him simply for all these times he is able to show genuine affection towards her boss.

“Excelent, then please take a seat!”

“Are those chairs new? I hope they are more comfortable than a last one.”

“Not exactly new… as you might have known if you bothered to stop by sooner...”

“What can I say I have been awfully busy lately. But please tell me what have you been up to, Oswald?”

“Nothing much really, but as you probably know one of my penguins…”

“Should I check on your chef, boss? Regarding how is the dinner going?” she decides to ask and both men turns to her in sort of genuine surprise. As if both of them managed to forget she was there. (The man who talked with her last two hours and the man who claims to be great at noticing details and never forgetting anything.)

“Yes, wonderful idea. But first Lark could you…” he is about to ask for other set of dishes, gesturing to the table but then he comes to horrific realization that Lark actually never did act upon his last request of cleaning the second set.

“Ah, yes, I will also ask about possible drinks. I will make sure someone will do that. However gentleman I have to excuse myself now and leave you alone for the rest of the evening. How you surely remember there are those urgent matters I have to solve.”

“What… oh yes. Well… I will see you… when we open again.”

“Merry Christmas,” she gives them both a polite smile. She is too exhausted to be able create a genuine one. Luckily both men are not paying her attention anymore. Oh well, it is great time to disappear then. Sooner than Penguine remembers he actually might need her to do something more and ruin her now surprisingly free evening. Sometimes Riddler’s presence really can be rather useful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Any comments will be appreciated. Don't be afraid to point out any spelling or grammatical error since English is not my fist language. I also appreciate any criticism no matter how harsh it might be. Also if by any chance you liked my writing enough to be interested in becoming my beta reader feel free to write me. I really love this ship and I plan to definitely write some more fanfics in the future.


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